Today I walk you through the joys of three hour night classes! Hope you enjoy listening! – Barry
Want some dating advice? Try changing up some of your terminology before entering the dating pool! Here’s an example:
Person 1: “So, are you single?”
Person 2: “Me? No, I prefer to think of myself as a Freelance Romantic.”
What in the hippty hell is a freelance romantic? Let me break it down.
Definition: Freelance Romantic noun. – An individual who is independent of any romantic entanglements at the present. Commonly referred to as “single”, this person will likely die miserable and alone.
Synonyms for Freelance Romantic include:
A simple change in terminology makes all the difference! – Barry
Interacting with random Bloomsburg Townees is always an interesting experience. These moments typically occur in a few seconds, but they are definitely worth sharing.
I left Jen and Sare’s apartment around 3:36pm to return home. Traffic began to congest heavily by the time I reached the corner. I patiently waited for an opportunity to cross.
Please let me cross. No? Okay.
Will you let me cross? No? Alrighty then.
Seven minutes flew by and now an older gentleman stood on the opposite corner also waiting to cross. There was a brief lull in traffic and the man darted immediately. My aversion to becoming roadkill kept me standing still.
The man starting shouting at me from the middle of the street Continue reading
I know what they did.
I know they hurt you. I watched as they belittled and berated you into nothing.
I know they beat you. I cried as they slammed their knuckles into your fragile ribs.
I know they doubt you. I despaired as they imposed dangerous obstacles to defeat you.
Here’s how you strike back.
Remove the “why” and focus on “I”.
Why did they hurt me?
How can I stop the hurt?
Why did they beat me?
Where do I find the power to stop it?
Why did they doubt me?
Why did I doubt me?
Learn to transform external pain into internal gain and begin to Manifest your Joy – Barry
Part Two – Strategies for Losing Friends.
In your efforts to shed friends like an old snake skin you will encounter many difficulties. At some point you encounter a great altruistic figure who insists on enduring friendship with you. Such as serious case of the measles, you wish to be rid of this person!
Do not fret. I have crafted a stratagem specifically for this purpose. Continue reading
Cecilia walked into to my apartment just in time to catch me unashamedly dancing to Staying Alive by the Bee Gees. The appalled look on her face revealed her confusion at what transpired. She didn’t know about this daily ritual of mine. That song replayed constantly in my head for the past decade. I dare you to only listen once! It’s not possible!
“Hey Barry! Oo that’s a good song!”
“Yeah I love it! It’s been stuck in my head for the longest time haha”
I invited Cece over to play a horror movie drinking game. Jump scare? Take a sip. Someone trips? Take a sip. Finally settled on the couch we scanned through Netflix and landed on The Awakening. It looked promising.
Before I hit play Cece looked at me in an odd manner, “Turn off the light”
What? NOOO! That wasn’t a part of the deal! I don’t want to watch this in dark!
Reluctantly, I got up and flicked off the living room light. I already regretted it.
Shit! Did you hear that? Is someone in my closet? Do I want to look? Maybe I should double check?
Hey! Can you knock it off? The movie hasn’t even started yet!
Sorry. You know I don’t like the dark. Continue reading