Um DO YOU MIND?

Last Thursday I ventured out of my lonely apartment toward the Bloomsburg Public Library. The gray overcast and subtle breeze were a refreshing change from the June heat. It only took me five minutes to reach my destination.

Entering the library I held a copy of The Operator by Kim Harrison firmly in my hands. There were about sixty pages left until I reached the end. I HAD to finish today! Doing a quick scan of the first floor I located the comfiest looking chair and plopped myself down. It’s go time baby!

Not even three minutes into my reading the first interruption arrived.

A short portly man wearing a classic dad outfit (and body to match) comes up planting himself two feet behind me. He needed to charge his phone and the nearest outlet rested in the wall right next to me.

Okay no big deal. I’ll just ignore this guy.

I readjusted myself and focused on the book.

*pop* *bleep* A litany of annoying electronic notification noises disturbs me again.

Umm DO YOU MIND? This is a library, I’m trying to read!

Taking in a deep breath I collected my patience and read on. For next 15 minutes my ears were berated with EVERY possible notification sound under the sun. Constant texting chimes, Facebook Messenger bubble burst, and video game coin dings. I refused to move – I was here first dammit!

*vrrrrr*

My phone vibrate went off; it was Sare asking me what I was doing.

Leaving is what I’m doing.

I jumped out of my sit, heading for the exit.

“Excuse me?” the annoying dad with the phone called out to me. “ Can I sit here?”

WHAT?ARE YOU JOKING?HUH?

I politely forced a smile, “Sure! I’m not coming back.”

annoyed.jpg

Real time photo of me in that moment.

God I hate people sometimesBarry

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Am I in trouble?

Last Friday I moved into my apartment above Smitty’s Steaks. My mom came too, along with my younger brother and three younger sisters. Six people in an apartment designed for one person comfortably. The eye of a tropical storm out on the coast was more tame. This is why when people ask me how many siblings I have my response is “Too many.” Continue reading

Cheese Steak Sally pt. 3

Continuation of Cheese Steak Sally pt. 2

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I finished about a fourth of my cheesesteak before Cheese Steak Sally returned to check in on me. That house cheese was incredible!

“So what’s your name?” I innocously inquired

“My name is *******, but my parents wanted to name me California with a K”

“That’s pretty awesome! I’m actually planning to move out to California! My name is Patri- I mean Barry. Well my real name is Patrick, but I go by Barry.”

Kalifornia’s eyes narrowed down at me. “Are you a drug dealer? Becuase the only guys I know around here that change their names are drug dealers”

The bluntness of the question immediately disarmed me.

“What? No haha. The most mysterious thing about me is that I write stories for a blog. Who knows I might even write a story about you one day”

HAHAHA, ohhh if you only knew! It took everything in me not to laugh out loud at the irony of that sentence. I’m so bad sometimes haha

I could tell she was very relieved I wasn’t a drug dealer or some sketchy outlaw.

“Oh okay! Well if you do write about me promise to use the name Kalifornia.”

Anything for you my dear.

“Soo what’s your blog about?”, I seemed to have piqued her interest.

“Mostly just short stories and my awkard interactions with other people. I’m a pretty awkard guy so I have a lot I can write about. Other times it’s just random nonsense.”

Kalifornia looked at me with a raised eyebrow, “What? You don’t seem awkward to me! Besides everyone is awkward anyways.”

OMG PLEASE MARRY ME NOW. 

I was briefly lost in my admiration when she added, “So why did you change your name to Barry?”

Sigh. I’m tired of answering this question all the time

Holding in my annoyance I cooly stated, “I was tired of all the Spongebob jokes. People keep calling asking if it’s the Krusty Krab”

Kalifornia erupted into full laughter, “Oh my god that’s hairlous! Okay I understand now”

Ya boy still got it 😉  If I could pat myself on the back I would!

It took me about twenty more mintues to devour the rest of my cheesesteak and fries, before decided I had done enough “research” for today. I paid for my meal leaving a generous a five dollar tip and went on my way.

Overall it was a pretty good time! – Barry