I Know What They Did


I know what they did.

I know they hurt you. I watched as they belittled and berated you into nothing.

I know they beat you. I cried as they slammed their knuckles into your fragile ribs.

I know they doubt you. I despaired as they imposed dangerous obstacles to defeat you.

Here’s how you strike back.

Remove the “why” and focus on “I”.


Why did they hurt me?


How can I stop the hurt?


Why did they beat me?


Where do I find the power to stop it?


Why did they doubt me?


Why did I doubt me?

Learn to transform external pain into internal gain and begin to Manifest your Joy – Barry


Harness -ING

What do you want to do most? To be an actor, programmer, dancer, writer, teacher, parent, doctor, etc..?

Figured it out? Awesome! The next question typically is:

When do I know I’m really an actor?

Uncertainty claims a lot of lives with this question. Then people quit. Instead of searching for outside validation use this simple tool. Harness the power of ing. Continue reading

I Would Date Me

It’s 5:45am. Swiping back the shower curtain I release a mass of steam into my tiny bathroom. Before drying off I move to the sink to brush my teeth. Something in the mirror above the sink catches my eye.

Damn I look good! Did you lose some weight?

I make a few bicep flexing motions in the bathroom mirror and pose for the audience of one (myself). Indulging in this vanity for longer than I care to admit another thought pops up.


The bathroom mirror also doubles as a photo studio for Instagram pics

Wow, I would date me. I would totally date me. I feel bad for people that will never get to date me. Oh well.

For the rest of the day my mind generated an extensive list of all my date worthy qualities. This list could encompass another whole blog post so I’ll just name a few. Besides being irresistible, charming, I am young, ambitious, smart, funny, etc. Creating this mental list gave me a better appreciation for myself. What started out as ego stroking turned into an acknowledgement of my self-worth. Now I wake up nearly every day thinking I would date me.

My question to you is this: Would you date you? Single or otherwise, most of your time with is spent with yourself. Acknowledge those great personality traits and work on the not so great ones.

Now if you don’t mind I have a hot date (with myself) – Barry

What love is not.

Love. Arguably the most ambiguous of all abstractions. For centuries human beings have suffered, pondered, and declared their unique perspectives on love. Despite these efforts no universally accepted definition of love exists. I don’t have any idea what love is either. Instead I offer a backwards solution: define with unshakeable certainty what love is not. Continue reading

Progress vs Perfection

Self-improvement is not about perfection. I have witnessed too many people obsessed with perfection unknowingly inhibit their own growth. Many times they end up self-destructing. According to Merriam-Webster perfection is defined as

…freedom from fault or defect: flawlessness

Human beings learn from trial and error. Observing our mistakes and correcting them moving forward. Children fall over and over before learning how to walk independently. Failure is our default and progress is the natural order.

Perfection refuses to acknowledge our flaws, cutting off the possibly of improving upon them. For best results: Try, Fail, Learn, Rinse, Repeat.

I love you – Barry

The Greatest Harm

The worst thing we can do to others is suppress their autonomy. To inhibit someone’s free will is to suppress their potential.

The same goes for ourselves. Many times we change our identity to conform, not to defy. Hesitating to pursue a dream because eyes are on us, preaching that it is impossible.

Your flavor of uniqueness contains that extra “umpf!” that makes life so wonderfully delicious. Water it down at your own risk.

I love you – Barry