Not stainless steely.
Not Iron Man.
I find it ironic that the people say, “I’m a nice person” are usually not. Oh, not at all. Genuinely nice people never feel the need to self-identify. There’s no official membership card that says, “licensed and certified to practice niceness”.
A few days ago, I mentioned possibly selling my desktop and monitor for money. I changed my mind last minute and decided to give the computer to my brother. My brother arrives in the late afternoon to pick up the monitor. Sudden he recalls something urgent and yells, “I gotta buy something! I’ll be right back!”
Fifteen minutes stroll by and my brother reappears in my living room. He stands there awkwardly staring at me in silence. At this point I feel something is up.
What do you do?
He must of heard my thought because he suddenly blurted, “I bought a computer monitor.”
*Insert momentary silence*
You did what?!
“Why the f-, WHY? Why would you buy a computer another monitor?!”
His face twirled with guilt, “You said you were going to sell it!”
I shut my eyes to avoid fully erupting.
Shit, I did say that. But that still doesn’t make any fucking sense! Why would I give you a desktop and no monitor!
I mentally repositioned myself after inhaling a deep breath, “Listen, you could have just asked me if I was going to sell the monitor. That was a really stupid of you to just run out and buy one.”
I didn’t want to make my brother feel too bad about his stupid decision so I offered a solution, “Look we can see if we can return this stupid thing tomorrow.”
I google Arcus Bros phone number and wait for an answer.
Arcus Bro: Hello?
Me: Hi, I just had a quick question.
Arcus Bro: Go ahead.
Me: What is your return policy?
Arcus Bro: What’s the problem?
Me: No problem, my brother bought a monitor and didn’t realize we already have on-
Arcus Bro: Listen NO REFUNDS, I’m a pretty nice guy but business is business! *click*
Me: Wait I had another ques, that bastard hung up on me!
Oh yeah totally a nice guy – Barry