Beware of Nog

Modi and I wandered around the Husky Lounge looking for a bite to eat. Nothing special piqued my interest until I wandered over to the refrigerated section.

“Modi, look! They have egg nog!”

“Really? Since when?”

“I don’t know! I’m buying it though!”

One meal swipe and a short walk later, we returned to Luzerne’s third floor lounge. Modi, Jen, and Emmy A. lazily slouched on the lounge couches. My excitement about the egg nog keep me standing.

“Did you know they had egg nog at the Husky?! I haven’t had egg nog in so long!”

Everyone ignored me as usual, but I didn’t care!

Eggggg nog, I got me some egggg nog! Yeah! Egg nog, I got me some egggg nog!

Excitedly, I downed the quart of egg nog in five-minutes flat. The bold creamy taste overrode my desire for moderation. Standing up, I channeled my inner NBA all-star and shot the empty carton into garbage can across the room.

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Damn I’m good.

Modi witnessed the stellar shot and pondered a second before looking at me, “Did you just finish that whole thing of egg nog?”

“Hell yeah I did! It was so good!”

Modi’s hand covered her mouth with both hands. I didn’t know what that expression meant, but it clearly wasn’t good.

Aw shit. What did I do this time? I there something in my teeth? Is my fly down?

“Patrick! Why did you drink all that egg nog at once?!”

“…..Uhhhhh, because it was good?”

Jeez. If you wanted some egg nog you could have asked before I drank it all.

“Okayyy, that’s really going to be rough for your stomach. It’s not going to be fun”

Pfft! Please, I ain’t after of a little egg nog. Bring it!

bring it on.gif

Three hours later – Luzerne Men’s Restroom

“Oh god! I’m dying! Please just make it stop!”

Unfortunately, my prayers from the porcelain throne went unanswered. Liquid flowed through me faster than the plunging waters of Niagara Falls, and with twice as much force. Safe to say I never drank egg nog again after that delightful experience.

Moral of the story? Beware of nog – Barry

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