Random Encounters – Weis Mom

Interacting with random Bloomsburg Townees is always an interesting experience. These moments typically occur in a few seconds, but they are definitely worth sharing.


*Beep*

Wheat Bread – $2.49

*Beep*

Chicken Breasts – $11.99

Please don’t go over $50. Pleasee don’t go over $50.

Grocery shopping always provokes a special kind of anxiety. Watching the numbers trail down the screen, the total sum jumping higher and higher. It’s like suspense thriller starring me and my bank account.

*Beep*

Total – $47.34

Whoooo! Just barely made it! Suck it bitches!

The young cashier peered at me behind his Harry Potter glasses with disinterest toward my victory, “Do you have a Weis card sir?”

Pfft. Weis card. Lammmeee.

“No, I never got around to getting one”

Sudden a voice interjected, “You can use my card if you want!”

Hm? I turned around toward the good Samaritan. It was a mother with her two year old son in the shopping cart. She smiled brightly while holding out her Weis card to the cashier. My total subsequently dropped by $7.59.

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem, do you live in the area?”

Looking directly at her face is when it struck me: Damn! This mom is ridiculously hot!

“Yeah, but I don’t really grocery shop much”

Embracing my inner Sherlock Holmes, I focused my powers of observation to deduce the following conclusions:

Grocery shopping alone with young child – Potentially a single mother.

No wedding ring on left hand – Reinforces possibility of singleness or recently split up.

Bold grey eyes, stark blonde hair – MILF

It only took a nanosecond before I snapped back to the present. She continued, “Oh that’s a shame! You should really think about getting one!”

“Yeah I’ll sign up next time I go shopping haha, thanks again!”

Before hulling off my bags I flashed her son a look hoping to transmit its meaning telekinetically: I could be your new stepdad.

I’m never going to Walmart again – Barry

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Random Encounters – Weis Mom

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s