“Okay, before I let you in promise you won’t laugh”
Sare’s face glowed with embarrassment as she spoke to me from behind the front door of her apartment.
“Um okay? I promise I won’t laugh.” Not fully knowing what I just signed on for I braced myself for the absolute worst case scenario. Sare pulled the front door completely open and allowed me to enter.
Immediately I conducted a full analysis of the room:
No dead bodies? Check.
No blood? Check.
Nothing on fire? Check.
Nothing looks broken? Check.
Hmmm, so far everything looks good to me! Sare maneuvered her way toward the kitchen, stopping near a small mountain of trash piled in clear plastic grocery bags on the floor.
“We still haven’t found a place to throw away trash and I was too cheap to buy garbage bags,” Sare explained with a hint a shame in her voice.
Fighting the urge to giggle instead I smiled and replied “Oh it’s really not too bad!”
Barry you’re a no good Liar. Yeah, it is that bad.
Sare eased up a little and after a few minutes we started watching the movie La La Land. Midway through the movie it donned on me that Sare and I were the only people here. That’s never happened before. It didn’t help that I was attracted to Sare too. I think that was the exact moment I set myself up for failure.
When the movie ended a strange lull dampened the atmosphere in the room. Sare stood in the kitchen quietly preparing chocolate truffles while I sat on the living room couch trying not to think about how weird the current situation was.
Finally the silence got to me. I couldn’t take it anymore! I approached Sare at the kitchen counter.
“Soooooo I just realized we’ve never hung out alone before,….. this is awkward right?”
Why Barry? Whyyy?
Sare continued feverishly rolling truffle balls in her hands, inadvertently coating her palms with chocolate paste, “Sorry, I’m just an awkward person so it makes things awkward haha.”
Ah jeez. I could tell from her facial expression she didn’t think it was awkward until I brought it up.
Nice one Barry!
“Uh, No.. I mean, I don’t think you’re awkward. It’s just being alone with you is awkward” I regretted saying the words as I heard them leave my mouth.
Barry! Your making this worse! Just stop!
“I’m sorry that being alone with me is such an awful experience for you”
Sare’s tone fell somewhere between embarrassment and frustration. Clearly I had made things ALOT worse.
“No! I just mean it’s awkward, you know the situation is umm awkward?..” Do you think I was smart enough to stop talking? No! Not at all!
“…. I don’t mind being alone with you, I just never did it before.. so it’s you know awkw-”
“Can you stop saying it’s awkward?!”
Sare jumped from slightly annoyed to totally peeved in a matter of seconds.
You see Barry! I told you! Why don’t you ever listen to me?!
When I got home later that night I replayed the conversation on loop over and over.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Safe to say I learned my lesson. Also shout out to Melissa and Victoria for reading the blog! Love you guys! – Barry