Seven people you will inevitably run into at the movies

Going to the movies is a treasured pastime of mine. Nothing beats the immersion of huge wall to wall film experience, surround sound and popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn. My only gripe with going to the theater is other people. Through rigorous analysis, research, and scientific observation (aka people watching) I have discovered the seven types of people that you will inevitably run into at the movies.  

Film Critic Wannabe


Criticizes EVERYTHING. Dude Star Wars isn’t supposed to be “realistic”, chill.



Makes commentary entire time potentially ruining the experience. Please save pratice for your stand up comedy career somewhere else sir.

The Puzzled


Understands nothing in the movie although the plot is simpler than a children’s story book. Stop asking me to explain what happened 5 minutes ago!



Confused and appalled by what’s happening on screen. Uses phrase “Back in my day…” a lot. Basically, The Puzzled but older.

Crying Kid


Why did you bring him? WHY BETTY?



Self-explanatory; Asshole with cellphone – Apparently doesn’t know how to turn off phone, or turn down volume or lower screen brightness.

Explainer Movie Nerd


Will point out meaningless facts about the movie you didn’t ask for. No, I did not know Captain America was originally a cat named Shirley in the 1968 comics. Thankkkssssss.

Until next time – Barry


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