My entire life I’ve been a loner. I have nothing against interacting with other human beings; it’s just the way I’ve always been. Over the years I’ve met plenty of people and have made some great friends, but I will always feel most comfortable by myself.
Confession: I hate emotional attachments
Now you may be asking, “Patrick, what is an emotional attachment?”. An emotional attachment is anything that binds you to another person on an emotional level. Examples include: friends, family, relationships, etc.
The biggest contribution to my hatred of emotional attachments is my past experience. Attachment, (especially a romantic one), will eventually lead to pain, betrayal, rejection and disappointment. The worst part is the more you care about this person the more it hurts. Being tethered to someone else is the worst feeling in the world. It literally feels as if life without them would be nothing. Of course, that’s impossible because you had a life before meeting this person. There is nothing logical about emotional attachment.
Then there’s the issue of trust. No matter how much you care about someone it’s impossible to read their mind and figure them out. I have no problem trusting myself because I know what my own intentions are and I can control my own actions. With someone else you’re taking a gamble and hoping they won’t screw you over at their convenience. Just think for a minute. How well do we really know the people we interact with? That is why I am cautious and usually keep my distance.
Despite all of this, I do recognize that emotional attachment and trust are vital to living a full life. I’ve been working towards being more social, but I don’t think I will ever fully trust another person. I still prefer to depend on myself over others.