That’s what they called me in college

A few days ago I took a trip to Dollar Tree with my friends Sare and Rhoady. As struggling poor college students Dollar Tree is a magically paradise. Pretty much anything you can want or need can be found for just a one dollar! Continue reading

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Emotional Satellite: Adjust settings

Original post on Emotional Satellite

Before an emotional satellite can be used there must be time spend set adjusting settings. On a regular electronic device, this means reading instruction manuals, determining what plugs go where etc. Adjusting your emotional satellite begins by developing an increased awareness of one’s emotions. Continue reading

Am I in trouble?

Last Friday I moved into my apartment above Smitty’s Steaks. My mom came too, along with my younger brother and three younger sisters. Six people in an apartment designed for one person comfortably. The eye of a tropical storm out on the coast was more tame. This is why when people ask me how many siblings I have my response is “Too many.” Continue reading

Seven people you will inevitably run into at the movies

Going to the movies is a treasured pastime of mine. Nothing beats the immersion of huge wall to wall film experience, surround sound and popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn. My only gripe with going to the theater is other people. Through rigorous analysis, research, and scientific observation (aka people watching) I have discovered the seven types of people that you will inevitably run into at the movies.   Continue reading

Cheese Steak Sally pt. 3

Continuation of Cheese Steak Sally pt. 2

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I finished about a fourth of my cheesesteak before Cheese Steak Sally returned to check in on me. That house cheese was incredible!

“So what’s your name?” I innocously inquired

“My name is *******, but my parents wanted to name me California with a K”

“That’s pretty awesome! I’m actually planning to move out to California! My name is Patri- I mean Barry. Well my real name is Patrick, but I go by Barry.”

Kalifornia’s eyes narrowed down at me. “Are you a drug dealer? Becuase the only guys I know around here that change their names are drug dealers”

The bluntness of the question immediately disarmed me.

“What? No haha. The most mysterious thing about me is that I write stories for a blog. Who knows I might even write a story about you one day”

HAHAHA, ohhh if you only knew! It took everything in me not to laugh out loud at the irony of that sentence. I’m so bad sometimes haha

I could tell she was very relieved I wasn’t a drug dealer or some sketchy outlaw.

“Oh okay! Well if you do write about me promise to use the name Kalifornia.”

Anything for you my dear.

“Soo what’s your blog about?”, I seemed to have piqued her interest.

“Mostly just short stories and my awkard interactions with other people. I’m a pretty awkard guy so I have a lot I can write about. Other times it’s just random nonsense.”

Kalifornia looked at me with a raised eyebrow, “What? You don’t seem awkward to me! Besides everyone is awkward anyways.”

OMG PLEASE MARRY ME NOW. 

I was briefly lost in my admiration when she added, “So why did you change your name to Barry?”

Sigh. I’m tired of answering this question all the time

Holding in my annoyance I cooly stated, “I was tired of all the Spongebob jokes. People keep calling asking if it’s the Krusty Krab”

Kalifornia erupted into full laughter, “Oh my god that’s hairlous! Okay I understand now”

Ya boy still got it 😉  If I could pat myself on the back I would!

It took me about twenty more mintues to devour the rest of my cheesesteak and fries, before decided I had done enough “research” for today. I paid for my meal leaving a generous a five dollar tip and went on my way.

Overall it was a pretty good time! – Barry